Almost Died At Wet’N’Wild Theme Park.

This is an overdramatic tale about an experience I had at Wet’N’Wild Theme Park on the Gold Coast.

Have you ever been down the slide appropriately named, “The Black Hole”?

This was my first time.

I was tired after going on everything else first. The words “The Black Hole” along with the view of a Black loopy slide didn’t really seem like a big deal until I was looming over the gushing water, about to fly into the black abyss.

Quick description…

Wet n Wild’s “The Black Hole“

Fully enclosed black spiral slide with some small LED lights inside. Not for the claustrophobic at all. It is hella DARK with a limited amount of oxygen at your disposal, or maybe that was just my anxiety cutting off my air supply.

I enjoyed the slide first 5 seconds (despite the pitch black darkness and the tiny led lights freaking out my eyeballs.)

I suddenly became anxious and overwhelmed by a violent smell that was suffocating my esophagus making me cough and gag.

Going through my last thoughts and the bucket list I never ticked off as I flew down the black hole the smell reminding me off rotten eggs burning every ounce of air I tried to find.

Slowly dying, watching my life flash before my eyes  – the light appeared….There really is a God and despite all my mistakes, I’m entering heaven.

Maybe I’ll even be reincarnated as a butterfly. I quickly started mentally drawing up a will. So many things left unsaid. So much emotional YOLO in the feels department. Who will inherit my 30 Seconds To Mars CD Collection?

The sun starts to appear and the outside world emerges along with a young boy…It’s my boy and he’s giggling.

“Mum…I farted in the slide”.

My son had eggs for dinner the night before. 

This is now forever known as the day my son fluffed in a slide and almost killed me.

Probably not the theme Park Horror Story you Were Expecting…..The joys of parenting!